Saturday, September 22, 2012

Marysol Patton Mother (Elsa Patton) Face

If you’ve ever seen The Real Housewives of Miami, you’ve wondered, as I have, what in the name of deflated flesh balloons has happened to Housewife Marysol Patton‘s mother’s face. Elsa Patton is a psychic in Miami, and a terror to all human Muppets everywhere. She has had so many ill-fated procedures that it’s hard to even know where to begin, except to say that it looks like that someone tried and failed to restore the fresca version of her face, and instead just melted all the flesh-paint until it was warm and bubbly and ran down her face, where it rehardened into the puffy, lumpy mass we see today. Maybe she should have tried what Kyle Richards uses.

 
Starting to get the lips and the brows involved.

But it wasn’t a painting restoration gone awry that did this to Mama Elsa. It was a real, live, surgeon, who she referred to in the last episode only as, “the man who ruined my face.” Someone who theoretically has a medical degree allowed Elsa Patton to walk into his or her office looking like a normal(ish) person, and to walk out looking like a hot pocket drag queen. I can see that, you can see that — but as fun as it is to speculate wildly on what could have possibly happened to turn her skin into a delicious, bubbly calzone, we here at Crushable thought we’d turn to an actual expert to determine what might have gone on here behind-the-scenes.
Sloping gradually downhill.
We asked Dr. Richard Chaffoo, MD, FACS, FICS (those fancy titles mean he’s a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons, and the International College of Surgeons, and he’s been a working facial cosmetic surgeon for 20 years, so he knows his shit) about his professional opinion of Mama Elsa’s face, and he had this to say:
“It appears as though she had a brow lift, blepharoplasty, facelift, and fillers although she looks overdone and unnatural. Her eyebrows are raised too high in a surprised and artificial appearance.”
Ah yes, a blepharoplasty! I’m sure you know just what that is! (Actually you might, but we didn’t, so we asked — and it’s a cosmetic eyelid surgery. Mmmm, sounds delicious.)
And here’s our lady today.
So there you have it, folks. All your questions are answered. You’re looking at what happens when somebody tries to pull all the skin in your face up toward your ears, and then fills up the pockets of skin with fat from your butt, but does it wrong. Which is pretty much what Dr. Chaffoo said, but a lot smarter because I never went to medical school and I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Much like whatever no-account surgeon did this to Elsa Patton’s face.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Alexis Bellino Fired

After three seasons of "The Real Housewives of Orange County," Allexis Bellino is reportedly leaving the show -- but was it her choice?

"Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity," a source tells Us Weekly, adding that the mom of three "wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."

However, cast mate Tamra Barney tells a different story Tuesday (Sept. 18) on Twitter.

She writes, "let's just say the story I read and what I was told does not match [...] in my opinion her story is never straight!"

"I can't wait for the truth to come out!" Tamra adds.

A rep for the network says Bravo has yet to make any announcements about a Season 8 pickup or casting.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Lisa Hochstein Age

Lisa Hochstein is a 29 year old former Playboy model and one of the newest members of The Real Housewives of Miami who has a net worth of $20 million. Lisa Hochstein earned her net worth by marrying prominent Miami plastic surgeon Dr. Leonard “Lenny” Hochstein. Born Lisa Marie Mackay, she has made three appearances in Playboy magazine, once in Playboy’s Sexy Girls Next Door, once on the cover of Playboy’s Vixens and once again in Playboy’s Voluptuous Vixens. Interestingly, Lisa Hochstein married a plastic surgeon two years AFTER appearing in Playboy, usually it’s the other way around right? But perhaps that’s how they met? Lisa married Leonard Hochstein on October 24th, 2009 at their palatial Miami mansion. The couple has since traveled the world together. Living it up in exotic locales such as St. Tropez, Paris and Venice Italy. But they still make Miami their home base. Keep reading to learn more and view a photo gallery of the always sexy Lisa Hochstein…

Dr. Karent Sierra Age

Dr. Karent Sierra Age: She is 38 years old

From a recent interview:

For dinner I sometimes also go to Chicken Kitchen and have plain chicken breast. I tend to have small dinners. I eat it after my afternoon workout at about 6 o'clock. Every once in a while, I'll have a protein bar for dinner.

For a snack, sometimes I have almonds — always have almonds in my office. Or fresh fruit.

I try to eat good during the week so I can cheat a little on the weekend, go to a restaurant.

What do you drink typically?

Water, 90 percent of the time I drink water. I have a glass of wine maybe once a week, a nice cabernet. It's healthy for your heart, as long as you don't drink a week's worth in one meal.

Do you take any vitamins?

I always take Omega 3-6-9, which is good for the immune system and joints. Includes all the fish oils.

Where did you acquire your fitness and nutrition knowledge?

I have had a nice group of friends since college. We all go to the same gym and talk about nutrition and what machines are right for a part of your body. So that's how I learned it.

Do you have any advice for South Florida residents looking to get fit?

Find something you enjoy doing. I don't see spinning or Pilates as a workout because I enjoy it. Some people might like bike riding if they don't like swimming. Or walking in the park. You're walking and talking and doing a little exercise.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Lea Black Biography

Lea Black: A Texas native, Black is a dedicated mom, devoted wife, committed philanthropist and businesswoman. Married to Roy Black, one of the top criminal defense attorneys in the country, Lea is founder of the annual Blacks Gala, which she turned into one of Miami’s landmark social events and an opportunity to raise millions of dollars over the past fifteen years for her Consequences Charity.

Adriana De Moura Biography

Adriana De Moura: Very active in the Miami art scene, before settling on Miami's exclusive Hibiscus Island, Adriana studied art & culture in Florence and at Paris' Sorbonne Institute. In addition to art, Adriana concentrates her time on her 12-year-old son, Alex, who is a promising concert pianist. 



Lisa Hochstein Biography

Lisa Hochstein: A self-proclaimed “professional housewife,” Lisa Hochstein is married to Miiami plastic surgeon Dr. Lenny Hochstein, who is known as the "Boob God" of Miami. At age 29, Lisa has made three appearances in Playboy magazine and excels at shopping, lounging and hanging out with her maid and best friend Daisy.


Joanna Krupa Biography

Joanna Krupa: Born in Warsaw, Poland and raised in Chicago, Joanna Krupa is a model and actress who splits her time between Miami and Los Angeles. She has appeared on magazine covers including FHM, Shape and Playboy. Her television appearances include Las Vegas, CSI and she has been hosting and judging Poland's Next Top Model since 2010.  She also competed on Dancing With the Stars in 2009 with one-time champion Derek Hough. A huge supporter of the animal rights group PETA, Joanna has starred in several ads for the group.   She is engaged to Romain Zago, owner of Miami's Mynt night club.

Marysol Patton Biography

Marysol Patton: A Miami native, Marysol Patton is a publicist and owner of The Patton Group, one of Miami's prominent PR and event planning groups. Marysol is a fixture on the Miami social scene.

Ana Quincoces Biography

Ana Quincoces: Ana is a successful business woman who is a partner at her law firm, in addition to being a celebrity chef and cookbook author. Voted Miami's "Hottest Chef" by Eater Magazine in 2011, Ana says her greatest achievements in life are her two daughters, Kati, 20, and Beba, 19. 


Dr. Karent Sierra Biography

Karent Sierra: Born in New York City and raised in South Florida, Dr. Karent Sierra is a celebrity dentist who firmly believes that creating “perfect” smiles can change lives.  After attending dental school in Wisconsin, she opened her own private practice in Coral Gables and now refers to herself as a Miami native through and through.  Always one to keep her Colombian heritage alive, Karent moved her retired parents into her mansion and has been dating her telenovela star boyfriend, Rodolfo JimĂ©nez, for the past two and half years.